is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
