So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
