They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
