Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
