GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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