Dual....:-)
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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