he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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