I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
