Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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