do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
