Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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