Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
