Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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