Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
