Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
smell my finger.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
