Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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