I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
