I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
