he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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