yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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