That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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