There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
