these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
