those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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