Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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