I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
