Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
