I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
