whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
