Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
