Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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