I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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