I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
