just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
