a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
