I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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