There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
