Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
