Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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