I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
