It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
