The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
