Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Found the puke drawer
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
