Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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