I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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