her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
