when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize