Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
