Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize