i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
smell my finger.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
