Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
