I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
