Only a mothe r could love this liver
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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