Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
