I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
