brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
