I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he was CRYING into my vagina
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
