Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My ass is underappreciated
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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